I can’t really pinpoint the moment it happened but I know it had been building up for a while. Then the last time we went on holiday as a family I was just overcome with fear. I sat in the plane seat, gripping the arm rests sweating, shaking and feeling terrified, not wanting to show Xander my true feelings so that I didn’t spoil his love of flying and adventure. So I put a brave face on and when we got to our destination my sense of relief was overwhelming.
Last year we didn’t fly at all and opted to go on a cruise, due to my sudden avoidance of wanting to fly. The motherly instinct in me going into overdrive. Thinking that if anything happened it would be my fault that I had not protected my child and purposely put him in danger for the sake of a holiday. And there you have it, instead of getting excited about going away, those feelings were of guilt, fear and shame.
I decided I couldn’t carry on this way. Xander loves to travel and it wasn’t fair to avoid that just to make myself feel better. So I decided to face it head on, with some help. I asked friends for advice, what help should I seek. Several people suggested a Fear of Flying course run by BA or Virgin. I thought it sounded great and would probably help me before flying again but what about next year when I’ve forgotten everything.
After having had great success with natal hypnotherapy during childbirth I decided I wanted to try hypnotherapy again. I did some research online and found a therapist who I liked the look of and had the proper qualifications. After a telephone consultation I booked in for my first session. She specialises in anxiety and trauma so I was eager to get going.
We talked about whether a particular incident had triggered my fear and I explained how it had been building for a while. I answered lots of questions on various subjects and then we went into some hypnotherapy. I have a really open mind when it comes to alternative therapies as the brain is really complex. After the hypnotherapy was finished I could feel a shift. When I thought about my holiday I no longer felt dread but excitement.